It’s been way too long…
I’ve missed you Tumblr…what a crazy summer it’s been!
Of course, i’ve had many ups and down with my Lupus…but I’m still alive and kicking! I will be making a video blog this weekend..so stay tuned :)
It’s been so long..
…since I last posted. Things have been crazy hectic in my life. I’ve been so exhausted lately! Work is always stressful and tiring, i’m still trying to squeeze in a few workouts here and there, wrapping up my chemo sessions and getting ready to move out!
I literally have to remind myself to rest.
Needless to say, i’ve been feeling pretty OK, mentally, physically and emotionally. Mind you I have my days, where the exhaustion just wears me out and I feel sad, but for the most part i’m managing. I’m trying to remain optimistic, as my summer is not shaping up to what I wanted it to be. I have one more session of chemo, and I must say, i’m surprised that the side effects aren’t as severe as I expected. I guess when we are unsure of what to expect, we always expect the worse, which is exactly what I did. I’m hoping that this treatment has helped my Kidneys, if not, then i’m royally screwed. I’m going to be very happy after my last session and only hope that I never have to go back!
So what happens after chemo? I need to figure out a good diet/fitness plan to loose this prednisone fat i’ve gained over the past two months…it’s so not a good look!!
My new must have product this summer is my L’Oreal Ombrelle SPF 60 for my face and body!
The sun is hellla hot and when I don’t protect my skin, it feels all itchy and gets very red. Needless to say, it’s not a good look - trust me!!
If its one thing I highly recommend - it’s to stay protected. Your skin will thank you later :)
10 years and counting
The past few days have been very up and down for me, but, being able to write and openly express my feelings has really helped.
I have meet a lot of great people on social media sites that are all experiencing many of the same things I have with Lupus. It’s been refreshing to read the stories of others living with lupus and share in their personal battles and triumphs. Lupus is never the same in two people. One commonality we can relate to, is the way it makes us feel emotionally. To be able to explain what you are feeling and have someone say “I get it..” and they really do, is heartwarming.
Watching from the sidelines
I had big plans for this summer. We called it “Summer of 30.” A list, my friend and I created of 30 things we wanted to do this summer as we embark on our 30’s.
Summer has started. Nothing has been checked off the list, unless of course we add:
1. Try chemotherapy for the first time - CHECK
2. Have an awesome summer moon face from prednisone - CHECK
3. Gain 15 lbs this summer - who needs daisy dukes anyways! - CHECK
Oh I could go on…
The list was very basic. Try a Russian Vodka bar, go for High Tea, sail around the harbour, go on a wine tour…small things that we haven’t done, but wanted to experience. Now, I feel like I can’t do shit. Why? Because there’s a legit toxic party happening in my body and I look like a train wreck!
"If you could live in my body,
just for a day,
maybe you wouldn’t think
that I feel okay.
You might understand
what it’s like to be tired
by just trying to live,
just doing what’s required.
If you could live in my body
you might begin to see,
that a simple drug
won’t set me free.
If you could live in my skin
you’d learn to understand
that it’s not in my head,
nor was it planned.
I don’t want your pity
or to make you resent.
But I don’t need to apologize,
or have you consent.
I am dick and I am tired
every single day,
and it won’t help to ignore it.
So listen when I say:
it helps when I relax
with a friend and some tea.
You can’t understand but please, believe me."
I wish I had control. Everything would be different.